Bold New Algae Paste “Colors/Flavors” Are Now Available.

PSA // From Marla, Nutritional Oversight
SUBJECT: Algae Paste Now Comes in “Colors/Flavors”
PRIORITY: Digestive

Hello, friends of bodily integrity.

As part of our ongoing initiative to make “eating” feel less like “compliance,” I’m proud to announce that the Food Machine Units (FMUs) have been updated to include Algae Paste in twelve invigorating new color profiles—each curated to stimulate the imagination, if not the palate.

Note that these are not flavors in the classical sense (or any sense), but they are colors. And moods. And once or twice, smells that made the walls peel. The names are inspired from the brilliant minds at the scented-candle industry…creative, evocative, calming—yet essentially meaningless.

For some reason, I fought hard for all this. So, please, savor and enjoy the following flavors upon your tray:

  • Ozone Drift – Like kissing an electrical socket in low orbit.

  • Nebula Heat – Bold. Red. Feels like a threat.

  • Cosmic Regret – Gray-blue. Tastes like something you forgot on purpose.

  • Solar Hangover – Acid yellow. Smells like burned tequila and dad issues.

  • Zero-G Leather – Smooth. Musky. Alarmingly sensual.

  • Gamma Melancholy – Purple paste. Sad paste. Eat it anyway.

  • Eventide Engine Bloom – Blue with a bloom of something... botanical? Possibly toxic.

  • Plasma Wound – Spicy. Red. Should not be consumed without supervision.

  • Vacuum Whisper – Pale gray. Smells like secrets and soap.

  • Ionized Velvet – Rich burgundy. Tastes like fabric that shouldn’t go in your mouth.

  • Cryo Burnt – Cold and crunchy. The machine isn’t supposed to do that.

  • Lunar Static – Buzzes in your teeth. Scream into it. That’s part of the experience.

You’ll find these selections rotating across all cafeterias beginning later this week.

Please remember: selecting a flavor does not alter the nutritional value of the paste. It’s still algae. It’s always been algae. That’s all they gave us.

(Also, make sure to give your food ‘the old sniff test’ before consuming anything manufactured in an FMU.)

Choose boldly and have some fun! …

Respectfully,
Marla “Sugar Beets” Martin
Nutrient & Texture Specialist

Marla
Nutrient & Texture Specialist

REQUIRED DISCLAIMERS & MEDICAL INFORMATION

  • These substances may interact poorly with certain medications, relationships, or core memories.

  • None are FDA-approved for use in atmospheres under 14% oxygen.

  • Under no circumstance mix any of these new flavors together.

  • “Plasma Wound” is technically edible but has been classified as an “emotional hazard” by Station Therapy Services.

  • The Department of Legal Misunderstandings accepts no responsibility for digestive enlightenment, psychedelic euphoria, or sudden career epiphanies triggered by any of these flavors.

  • Note that if paste displays any type of movement or sentience, discontinue use and notify Station Priest (if present).