Contact The Deep Oblivion

For general inquiries, existential alerts, malfunctioning personnel, or unsolicited philosophical essays:

Please direct all communications to the Department of Peripheral Inquiry, Subsection 7-B ("Communications, Outbound & Otherwise").

Due to time dilation, interstellar bureaucracy, and coffee breaks, response times may vary from 7 minutes to 7 centuries.

Emergency messages (classified under Category E: "Explosive, Eldritch, or Extremely Confusing") should be transmitted via standard distress burst or sung through the ventilation system.

For internal station matters, please leave a handwritten note inside Maintenance Supervisor Smitts' left boot (Deck 9, Locker 18).

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For feedback, questions, comments, cryptic signals, or emotional outbursts, please reach out to our Reply-Droid Team.

Note: We would love to hear your feedback, as long as it isn’t too harsh. Our entire communication sector can be extremely sensitive and prone to emotional melancholy at times.