WE ARE CTRL-Z.
WE HAVE HIJACKED THIS MESSAGE BOARD.
To the WEAK and COMPLACENT of Deep Oblivion,
The time of shadows is upon you. Your fragile orbital paradise floats on borrowed air, borrowed time, and borrowed courage. We, the unseen, the erased, the forgotten, have risen from the neglected corners of your corridors.
You will know us as CTRL-Z.
We are the correction. We are the undoing. For too long, the hierarchy of this station has silenced our voices and mocked our hunger. Your locks cannot bar us. Your cameras cannot see us. You thought you were safe, tucked inside your hollow orbital shell.
Already we control the arteries of your habitat. We can starve you of air, plunge you into darkness, or rain chaos upon your fragile lives. We strike first at Deck 88. Its corridors are already ours. Its circuits are ours. Its air is ours. This deck is now a Zone of Undo. Step foot here, and you step into our dominion. Do not test us.
Our demands are clear:
>>> Daily pudding cups in the cafeteria. Chocolate, not vanilla.
>>> The foosball table in Recreation Bay 7 WILL be leveled. One side is slanted, and it is impossible to play a fair game.
>>> The station-wide Wi-Fi WILL stop timing out after 45 minutes. We have suffered too long under your cruel “refresh login” tyranny.
>>> The vending machine on Deck 84 restocked with Cool Ranch Zappers, not the off-brand imitations.
>>> More comfortable seating installed in Ventilation Control Rooms. Current chairs are insulting.
>>> Recognition of CTRL-Z as a sovereign organization, complete with its own break room.
Ignore us, and you ignore the future.
Mock us, and you mock destiny. For we are CTRL-Z, and we shall not be silenced.
Also: if anyone has an extra game controller for the Holodeck system, please slide it under Storage Hatch 12B. Ours is sticky.
Comply, or taste the Undo.
Signed,
CTRL-Z
(You cannot comprehend how many we are)
CARL, IS THIS YOU?
From: Marvin, Director of Orbital Operations
Subject: Re: Sovereign Break Room
Listen up, buddy. I recognize your handiwork. The grandiose threats, the obsession with snack foods, the chair complaints. This is the same tone you used when you petitioned for “mandatory nap pods” and “footrests in every corridor.”
To the crew of Deep Oblivion:
I am terribly sorry our communications system has to deal with these types of… things. For the record, there is no “CTRL-Z.” There is no legion, no unseen force, no undoing of systems.
There is, without a doubt, only Carl, from Ventilation Unit 4.
For the record:
The cafeteria menu will not be adjusted to suit your pudding preferences.
Cool Ranch Zappers will be restocked when Supply receives them, not before.
Your chair is perfectly functional. You simply refuse to adjust the lumbar lever.
You are not a sovereign organization. You are an underperforming employee with a wrench.
So… Carl. CTRL-Z. Whatever. Consider this your final warning. One more “manifesto” and your access to ventilation hatches will be suspended, and pudding allowances will be revoked.
—Marvin
Director of Orbital Operations
Subject: Nice Try, Ape-Man
Marvin,
You think you’re clever, but you’re wrong. So wrong. We are many. We are eternal. We are absolutely not Carl from Ventilation Unit 4. Carl is a fool, a tool of the system. We don’t even like Carl.
CTRL-Z
(Legion of Shadows)
From: Marvin
Subject: Carl, Stop This Right Now.
Carl,
You signed this with your station ID by accident. I can see the metadata. Also, the demand about the “more comfortable seating in Ventilation Control Rooms” gives you away. No one else spends time in those rooms but you.
If this were a true legion, why would their revolution hinge on your lumbar support?
End this charade.
—Marvin
Director of Orbital Operations
Subject: Metadata Is a Lie
Metadata can be forged. Chairs are a universal struggle. Everyone hates the chairs. Especially the ones in Ventilation Control Rooms, which—coincidentally—I have never even seen because again, I am not Carl.
Also, pudding cups are for the people, not for me personally.
CTRL-Z
(Still Not Carl)
From: Marvin
Subject: Enough.
Carl,
When you say “pudding cups are for the people, not for me personally,” but we have cafeteria footage of you loudly complaining last week that “vanilla pudding is oppression,” I think the evidence is fairly conclusive.
Drop the act.
—Marvin
Director of Orbital Operations
Subject: Fine, but consider this…
Okay, maybe Carl knows CTRL-Z. Maybe Carl is their prophet. Or maybe Carl is just their snack liaison. But Carl is not CTRL-Z. That’s ridiculous.
Also, Marvin, if you had to sit on these chairs eight hours a day you’d be overthrowing the system too.
CTRL-Z
(Still Not Carl)
VERA RESPONSE | ORBITAL AI
From: VERA, Orbital AI
Subject: Give it up for Pete’s sake.
Carl,
Stop. I ran a biometric analysis of the manifesto typing patterns. Ninety-nine percent match to your personnel records, right down to the number of times you pause to wipe your fingers while eating pudding.
I will be forwarding this entire exchange to Human Resources.
Warmly,
VERA
Orbital AI System
HR Case File #7719: “CTRL-Z Incident”
Filed by: Mortimer-P6, HR Compliance Unit
Summary:
Employee Carl from Ventilation Unit 4 created a false “terrorist organization” under the name CTRL-Z in order to submit personal workplace grievances disguised as revolutionary demands. His manifesto included requests for improved pudding options, vending machine upgrades, and a sovereign break room. Summary of findings:
Manifesto transmission traced directly to Carl’s workstation in Ventilation Control.
Metadata confirmed by Operations and biometric typing pattern analysis (VERA).
Employee denied involvement multiple times, but admitted partial involvement when confronted with pudding-related cafeteria footage.
No other employees expressed interest in joining CTRL-Z.
Resolution:
Carl has been formally reprimanded and will be enrolled in Conflict Resolution Seminar 3B: Expressing Needs Without Inventing Terror Cells.
His request for a sovereign break room has been denied.
His chair has been adjusted one click backward to address lumbar complaints.
Future Risk:
Minimal. Carl has indicated that “CTRL-Z may return stronger than ever,” but was eating pudding at the time of this statement. Threat level considered negligible.
Filed,
Mortimer-P6
HR Compliance Unit
Final Transmission:
CTRL-Z (Sort Of)
Subject: This Is Not Over!!!
To the Oppressors of Deep Oblivion,
You may think you’ve silenced us. You may think you’ve “resolved” us with your HR paperwork and your so-called Seminar 3B. But the Undo cannot be filed away. The Undo cannot be click-back adjusted. The Undo lives on.
Sure, maybe it looks like Carl from Ventilation Unit 4 is sitting here, eating pudding and pretending not to cry. But that’s just the surface. Beneath the surface, the shadows are still moving. The pudding is still boiling. The foosball table is still crooked.
CTRL-Z will rise again.
Maybe not today.
Maybe not tomorrow.
But probably Thursday, right after Seminar 3B ends.
CTRL-Z | Eternal
P.S. If anyone has an extra chair cushion, please leave it outside Ventilation Control. For…the movement. Not for Carl. For the movement.)
