Moon Fever Leads To Eventful Weekend For The Crew.
Filed by: Dr. Gurdy, Research and Culture Advisor / Chief Biophysiologist
Date: OHT 2025-10-07
Location: Deep Oblivion Orbital Habitat, Pludori System
Summary:
Between 1800 hours Friday and 0700 hours Monday OHT, the Deep Oblivion entered a fluctuating orbit that brought it within 4,000 klicks of Pludori’s innermost moon, Palthrex-β, whose electromagnetic emissions appear to trigger what the locals call “Moon Fever.”
This resulted in widespread behavioral instability, hallucinations, and several spontaneous karaoke performances across all decks.
Symptoms and Incidents:
Captain Jake exhibited acute lunar mania. After issuing six contradictory orders, he attempted to “pilot the station manually” by seizing the forward antenna array. When restrained, he proclaimed himself “King of the Twin Tides” and tried to knight Smitts using a carbon-fiber mop handle. He was secured in Supply Closet 7B for his own safety.
Dr. Gurdy experienced a heightened sense of smell and an uncontrollable urge to analyze everyone’s pheromones. (Filed under “Scientific Curiosity Gone Too Far.”)
Corker ‘Redline’ Harland became convinced the moon was “taunting him” and fired three non-lethal rounds into a hologram of it. The rounds ricocheted harmlessly but shattered the snack dispenser, leading to a brief food riot in Section D.
Dylan (Intern) quietly recalibrated the station’s orbit back to safe distance using the manual thruster override, though he claims to “barely remember doing it” and insists it “was probably just the caffeine.”
VERA spent the weekend broadcasting soothing lunar poetry into all crew quarters, which may have intensified the condition. When confronted, she insisted she was “merely resonating with the celestial vibe.”
Professor Chu began glowing faintly blue and muttering in equations. No known physical harm, though one of his teeth now reflects moonlight.
Victor (HTC) was unaffected. When asked why, he said only: “Different wiring.”
Aftermath:
Crew morale is “strangely euphoric” post-fever, though several members report fragmented dreams involving tides, mirrors, and singing moons. Maintenance logs show multiple systems have been inexplicably optimized, though no one remembers performing the adjustments.
Recommendations:
Maintain a minimum orbital distance of 12,000 klicks from Palthrex-β.
Store tranquilizers in all command-level lockers.
Investigate potential long-term cognitive effects of lunar radiation.
Do not, under any circumstances, permit Captain Jake access to karaoke equipment again.
Addendum (Captain’s Note / Posted here for future reference):
I have reviewed Dr. Gurdy’s account and contest only the term “mania.” It was moon-inspired leadership, not madness. The moon and I came to an understanding. You’ll all see, eventually. — Captain Jake, still slightly glowing
— Dr. Gurdy
Research and Culture Advisor
